PAST AND FUTURE

photos of me from the summer of 2010. 

i remember these photos like it was yesterday, and i'm literally scared of how fast time flies by. i remember that i was really happy, full of life and i was really excited for the new phase of my life. i had just finished primary school and i was ready to move to the city all by myself to start studying media and communication at high school. i had just turned sixteen and i had big plans and even bigger dreams. i was going to be a well known photographer stationed in new york or paris. i had just been to paris and i was so full of love for the city of lights. 

today, over two years after, i am living at home again and i'm at my last year of high school. my mood goes up and down like a roller coaster and every day is different. i still have big dreams, but i don't feel like i can succeed at anything. i don't feel worthy for anything and i feel like if there is no need for me in any situation. i am listening to sad music and drinking tea while thinking too much about the future, without enjoying what's actually here and now. but tonight i made another step into my future. i have started to apply for a three-months long study in paris. i am also applying for a university in london to get a bachelor in fashion communication and styling, but i don't know what exactly i am going to do. right now i'm really longing for the three months in paris next fall and then we'll see if i'm going to london the year after. but nothing is for sure yet, so i guess i'll just have to try to enjoy the moment and live every second like it was my last. hope all of you are fine and that you enjoy your lives. kisses.